GAINING A CALM MIND

I knew sleep was a necessity, but for me it was a major trigger.

I have been having sleep issues ever since I was diagnosed with my depression.  Right now in the present, it is a chore to fall asleep.  Some nights I feel like a child who doesn't want to go to sleep.  With my history of depression and domestic violence.  I had to take prescription sleep medication to get negative thoughts from haunting me at night. As I recovered my sleep got better.   During therapy sessions, I learned guided imagery that put me in happy places that I enjoyed. With the internet and utube, their are many ways to access sleep exercise,positive images and sleep music.

Since I got diagnosed with cancer, I have had unhealthy thoughts that I will not make it to the morning.  Of course it is very scary, but yet I took many deep breaths and with all the past skills of recovery, it is lessening.  

I am going to treat this like a regular job

1st:  During my awake hours, I knew these thoughts were natural because of my diagnosis.  I belong to an online survivers group, and people share how a poor soul they knew succumbed  to the disease.

2nd: With anxiety these thoughts can get out of control in our heads. 

3rd:  Sometimes with every ache and pain I get, I start thinking it's returned.  I did develop some minor heart, lung and thyroid issues which did contribute to my negative thinking.

One reason I started sharing my story is to try and rid myself of negative thoughts.  I find acknowledging them and accepting them can clear the mind at least for a day. I try and stick to a sleep schedule.  I still have to listen to relaxing music on headphones.  Right now it's Disney piano music.  If I find I can't sleep after a couple of hours, I get up have some herbal tea and maybe a healthy snack if  needed.  This is easier for me because I'm retired and don't have to worry about getting up early in the am.  

Patience is a big part of recovery.  Knowing it's not going to come overnight.  Giving ourselves a little slack.    The term (One step forward and two steps back)  can be very real for me.